Bossing bumps at Winter Park

man stands next to sign reading Mary Jane, on the hill, wearing goggles and helmet (undone)

If you want to get your moguls dialled, there’s no better place than this Colorado resort

If you want to get your moguls dialled, there’s no better place than this Colorado resort, thanks to box-of-eggs monsters like Drunken Frenchman and Outhouse on the Mary Jane side of the mountain.

These runs bite!

And while veteran WP ski school director Bob Barnes may no longer be hosting his legendary three-day bumps camps (shouting “f*** the wedge!” and “soapie tits!” across the piste) to remind skiers to keep it “super parallel” and to “rub and release” in Bob-parlance, it’s still the best place in the world to get your skills supercharged thanks to the sheer amount of ‘eggs’ on the hill, and the teaching talent in town.

a mogul run beneath a chairlift

If all this so far is sounding more like a nightmare than a dream, don’t fret, they’ve seen far worse than you before! And via the one-day Adult Mogul Program have churned out more zipper-line skiing heroes that you can shake a stick at (or even ski pole maybe?), all the while being asked, and when did you ski on the US Team? And how was it on the Pro Mogul tour? If the new bumps-jedi-masters are anything like Obi-Bob-Kenobi, there will be paper plates stuck in gobs (to help you keep your head up), endless scrawled diagrams on paper napkins, and you will have a lot of fun!

Yes, your head will hurt taking on the approach/information at times, but you will learn to be centred, to always stand on two feet (tipping and turning) and possibly become… awesome! Or certainly want to return anyway, with two-thirds of the class when Fall Line signed up being returnees.

“I used to hate moguls, now I eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” said one of the nice, middle-aged ladies on my course, before ripping down a huge, laden-with-filthy-bumps face like a young Glen Plake.

a group of skiers, smiling into camera on the slope, in front of a forest
Team moguls

Do it

The Adult Mogul Program costs $150 and lasts from 9am to 3.30pm. You can sign up just for the day as a drop-in (Wednesday, Friday or Sunday) or book a five-pack for $750.

More in-resort ski adventures: